Nik's Retro Rides Gathering PICS!

[Lucky]

Nik's totally excellent and not-at-all-belated Retro Rides Gathering Thread.
All inaccuracies, inadvertent throwaway insults and scurrilous miss-information purely the authors own work, no resemblance intended to any persons alive, dead or undead. If you don't like it, get over yourself. Bring a sense of humour and we'll get on fine. Let's crack on then, loads to get through!










I thought my personal experience of the Gathering was going to come to a cruel and abrupt end before the sun was even up over the hills. En route to pick up Madame le Jo I was barrelling along the country roads when my Rex began behaving most unpleasantly. It was pulling markedly right and every time I used the brakes it would violently veer left. Since it was a twisty road, I was using the brakes a lot...

Eventually it penetrated my dim brain (not helped by it being just after 5 a.m. and I was only running on a single cup of coffee) that something might be wrong with the brakes. I tried the optimistic... and bad... idea of stamping on the pedal to see if that'd cure it. What it in fact did was send the car heading for the verge, and as I wrestled with the steering it turned into a massive tankslapper that took up both sides of the road and eventually ended up in an ugly heap half-on the grass. Dang. Fortunately it was early enough that I had the road to myself and the verge was wide and flat. I pulled into a turning, cautiously, got out and the problem was immediately obvious.

The offside brake disc was glowing red hot, like a le Mans racer only crap, and smoke was pouring out of the wheel. I'd got as far as getting the fire extinguisher out of the back seat before I realised it wasn't actually catching fire, and by then my brain had caught up enough to realise the hot/cold stress of dousing it with my bottle of water would probably do more harm than good. If the disc hadn't already warped then I wasn't going to help it along. As it cooled, the caliper freed off and by the time the disc had calmed down from its incandescent heat, I was able to drive the car straight again. It seemed all the sanding dust from the respray had got into the caliper seals, and with frequent use it was gripping the piston and stopping it from retracting, pumping it out basically and eventually locking on.

But what to do? Go home, get the other RX and start again? But that was hardly in the spirit of the Retro vibe. And it'd waste about two hours. Besides, having just spent a shedload of time, money, and hassle on the FB it would be especially annoying to now miss the prime show of the year that suits its metier. I'd already had to take the FD to Retro Show, which hardly fitted in... so what was the alternative? It was about a three hundred mile round trip still.

Simple, really. I'd just have to do it without using the brakes. No way I was missing this. Besides, near-death experiences is what I do best. I've always been lucky...


Fortunately, this plan seemed to work and there were no further attempts by the car to merge me forcibly with the scenery or to catch fire. The brakes were OK so long as they were used sparingly. Fortunately most of the trip was on motorways. And it was only dangerous if you happened to be in front of us. Anyway, enough of my waffle, shall we have some pics?

The Exile Rotorsport stand was already half-full. Oddly, I failed to take many pics of it at first, thinking there'd be time later and wanting to get stuck in and see what the showground had to offer. Here's one though



Some FB and FC noses all nicely lined up. Bit of a blue theme going on, it wasn't intentional. It was great to meet up with Marc and Karissa again, and Peedey the Panda Boy and Major Tom showed up so top company was assured for the day. Without further ado, it was time to wander at complete random throughout the other club stands. This is a chaotic procedure at best, sort of like photographic Brownian Motion, bouncing erratically from car to car as bits and pieces take one's interest. So, in no order whatsoever, some thing wot took my interest...

Chrysler (Talbot?) Sunbeam with severely righteous banded wheels



It's a Rota. But I suppose at least it's a copy of a truly original Jap motif.



I always promised myself when I grew up I'd have one of these, but maybe I've just not grown up enough yet. Yeah, contrary to what the ads used to try to persuade you, the car you always promised yourself is not in fact a Capri, but a V12 XJS. Well, when you're a serial rotary owner fuel economy is just a random jumble of syllables anyway



Lada. Actually quite cool. Who knew?



The owner of this Riley Elf (posh Mini with a boot) was very nice, and even didn't get too scared-looking when I confessed to surreptitiously fondling his light-brow nipple things. Well, it was impossible not to



Have to say, if anything, I preferred the pimp Liberace interior to the outside. (Those adjectives are meant in a good way, clearly. Yes, Liberace can actually be an adjective)



There are almost as many Imp varieties as there are Riley/Wolsey/etc Mini ones. This one's a Chamois from Singer



and is therefore IIRC the posher one. If a posh Imp isn't a misnomer



I think this little thing is a mid-70s Toyota Corolla. I could just retouch all the photos of it so no-one can tell any different, lol



Only kidding. Think this is just the right amount of modification to get attention but without being too "look at me". Got a lot of time for this little car



In fact, as a general rule its simple to tell how much I like a car by how many photos I ended up with of it



Considering how rare and expensive sound early Escorts are becoming (apparently) its amazing how damned many of them there seem to be at every show! It's almost as if the bulging arches, fog lights and rally decals are some Bird-of-Paradise style escort plumage, each vying with the rest to see who can be most swollen, colourful and attention-grabbing



See? They're everywhere, lol. Not that I'm complaining



Wasp-waisted, curves like Jayne Mansfield, lol.



Maybe I'm biased... OK, I am biased but that don't make me wrong... but I love a nice set of Minilites. Especially barely wrapped around such capable-looking Hi-Specs



MkII Cortina was present to remind her smaller brother that Escorts are not the only cool Fords. Which is a hard trick to pull off when you have too many doors and are brown, but the old girl manages it with considerable dignity, I feel



If this photo was scratch'n'sniff, it'd smell of the late 1960s. Whatever that smells like. Given the industrial unrest and strikes, probably uncollected bins



Mr Claymore's rather tricksy Volvo was sitting in a shady spot with it's maw open like a dozing crocodile. It's a shame that a photo can't convey the ridiculous amount of noise this thing makes



Not sure what's happened to this 1275GT but if the mechanicals are anywhere near as purposeful as the bodywork it should go well.



whereas this Cooper is all-ends-up lovely.



True story, my wife got smashed into by the work van from the Cooper garage in East Preston. It was making a U-turn to be in the right lane for the level crossing. The driver's reason for hitting her? "I do that manouvre every morning and there's not usually anyone else there". Lol



Micra appears to be on a mission to prove the formula that any car + wheels + lows = cool

[Lucky]

Citroens are funny things. Other than grand old DSs; any other sort the more dilapidated they are the better they look



Seen this very low Golf hybrid thing before. At first glance it looks like a very low Golf with a catastrophic offset fail



but it is apparently a Golf-shaped hat dropped onto a Beetle chassis



rather like Hannibal Letctor wearing someone else's face. Which is quite impressive as a feat of engineering, although I'm still not totally convinced about that offset thing



What's this? Anglia/Prefect/Pop/Whatever? Never could tell the damn difference.



Looks fine sat low on cool wheels, whatever it is. Just enough insouciant patination to wear her age with pride and a sly wink



My hotrod identification skills are still notoriously feeble but I'm going to have a punt at this being a Ford. Lol. Think it's a '32?



Write in if you know better, lol



This one's rather easier to identify. Helps when they write the name on the front



Not your average Anglia, though. They don't generally come with twin Webers! Ornate four-branch headers, too



This is the ugly aftermath of stickerbombing. Oh yeah, it seems a groovy idea after a couple of Stella with your mates back in the lockup, but think of what happens after the rains come and it all peels off, and you're left with geological strata of glue and gunge going back years...



Tidy Cossie was tidy, just the right amount of bling to make it pretty but not dilute the purebred motorsport purpose the YB is steeped in



We never get tired of pointing Capris out to Madame le Jo, ever since she spent an entire show saying "oooh, I like that one, that looks a bit like Ralph" (Ralph is her evil and recalcitrant RX-4, for those who don't know). She takes it pretty well, to be fair, though she has added the caveat that it's only MkI Capris that look like Ralph. Doesn't stop our mockery, mind. Anyway, here's a Capri. Brown wheels work well. Who have thought?



I took loads of pics of this achingly cool Celica last year, and tried to limit the number I took as a result. Failed completely and still ended up with loads. Has it grown a red stripe since last year?



I love these Toyota JDM wing mirrors, think they look excellent. I once had a Marina with proper wing mirrors (only car I remember owning that didn't have door mirrors) and they were absolutely useless. Great if you needed somewhere to hang a hat or umbrella, but for seeing behind you, totally pointless.



She's a dirty girl, apparently. Mmmmm



Interior is just like a little 1/3rd-scale Camaro or something, it's easy to see where the muscle-car comparisons came from. There was a rumour Ford were trying to take the matter of certain Celica tail-lights to the courts as they were supposed to infringe Mustang design properties. Dunno if that's true or rumour, or how it ended if it is true. Might go and google that later



I've always thought Porsche should have kept with the direction they were going in when Fuhrmann was pushing for new model diversity and a rival to the 911s supremacy. After all, otherwise we'd never have had the marvellously bonkers interlude that produced the 924 (like a 1st Generation RX-7 only not as pretty), the 944 (like a 2nd Generation RX-7 only not as refined) and of course the oddity of the 928 (not actually much like anything else on this planet). GTS wing soooooo doesn't fit with any other line on the car, all the better for it



Sadly, instead we've had decades of identical-to-the-last one 911 variants that leave most of us without adenoidal voices and an over-developed need for social climbing utterly unmoved. Still, at least there are still plenty of this wonderfully off-the-wall and very un-German V8 to remind us what could have been in that Sliding Doors moment





Another deep black Toyota looking cool, more minilites helps. I had to make a conscious effort to not just take loads of photos of all the cars on the same wheels, something made harder by the fact they really do go with anything! This car also manages to dispell the myth four doors is two too many





Yet another in the occasional series of cars-that-are-painted-the-same-colour-as-my-downstairs-bog brings you the very 924 we were just talking about. Well, I think the Mazda is better-looking anyway. Partisan? Moi?



Austin, rusty



This 2002 looked like it might have been built with efficiency rather than aesthetics in mind. Certainly it seems form over function, and to a certain extent you have to admire any car that appears to have been painted with household emulsion and a brush!







I think like most people I like a bit of wear and patination. I also think like most I always feel slightly peevish when or if it turns out to be faux-patination, of the angle grinder and salt water sort. It's the sort of thing that kinda should evolve rather than be contrived. Mind you, this has been the cause of as many internetz arguments as whether "poke" and stretch are essential, so I don't expect anyone to agree. Anyhoo, this "Ratina" made me smile with the nice little touches on it, and that counts for a lot in the fragile world of rat(look)



I love the Willy's Jeep style bottle-openers for side repeaters





Madame le Jo's favourite car from last year was here again. Favourite mainly because it looks like a baked bean



Or even a VW Type 3 Fastback, which more people would probably recognise it as. There is the slight hint of baked bean about it though, I concede



Lots to like here, such as the doorcards made from jeans (Levis, too, none of your cheap rubbish)



and the Supertrapp "silencer" doubling as a rear bumper



Loooooong Vauxhall is like the illegitimate offspring of a Viva and a Chevette. And is therefore so drenched in awesome it's got some dribbling out of its exhuast. (Chevette in-joke disclaimer, move on, nothing to see here)



Viva had Chevrolet badges. Not sure why, aside from the GM connection. Always willing to learn? Note also the very quiet and understated colouration of the reclusive and rare Purple Panda in its natural habitat. Often found sneaking furtively around the more obscure car shows, where it supplements its diet of dodgy baguettes and re-microwaved curries by feeding on scraps of withering sarcasm, it's a treat to see this normally secretive, even shy beast. This one is wearing the rarest pink plumage, whether because of it being the species mating season is unclear, so little is known about this most unusual and exotic of British mammals. Strangely for such a normally timid creature, this one did manage to balls up a considerable number of my photos by getting in the way with its vibrant pelt clashing furiously with all other colours



This poor thing looks like it has extensive burns scars and is still waiting for reconstructive surgery



I quite like Nissan Cubes despite myself. I like how the rear windows are completely assymetric. Just because... And I like the rear lights, although I never noticed them before I took this pic



The Matra Murena is a French oddity in the sort of small-volume production run that the British shed industry excels at. Apparently one if it's selling points is that the three seats are all in a single row but the centre one can be folded down to make an armrest. Which, given the compact dimensions, says a lot about how cosy you'd need to get to carry three adult humans! Nice styling though, innit



as always, lots of nice touches on the customised early VWs. I very much respect the wooden bumper inserts on this Caddy



Fit and finish in the back is just as kwol, set off perfectly by the lowrider. Loving the big fat back tyre



Old skool hotrod paint panels and mooneye disc wheel covers hint that perhaps the VW scene is at last starting to relax its rigid grip on what's allowable and what isn't. Variety is the spice, and all that


Mmmm, very much so



As previously mentioned, you ain't rocking a proper manly Escort unless it has at least four spotlights...



See?

[Lucky]

Er's a big un! Gargantuan Continental was so epic it actually came with its own gravitational field complete with small orbiting moons



World's most pointlessly but marvellously complicated sidelight construction. Advisable to avoid getting any appendages near headlights while steel trap doors are operating



Apparently this is Julian's FD. Hello, Julian, and sorry for surrounding you and talking rubbish about FDs without first making it clear that at least three of us are FD owners, and all of us were rotary owners. Probably wouldn't have made much more sense even if we had, lol



Every year there seems to be an outre off-road behemoth. Last year was that Tonka toy Landie, this year was the turn of Toyotas alternative 4x4 legend, the Landcruiser



Got presence



Like the wheels on this Celica Supra, lol. Predictably. Although methinks they're Watanabes rather than "proper" minilites. Taken a load of pics of this at various venues too, but I just can't help myself



This time it'd brought a friend. Most heinous stonechips ever, looks like its been shot!



Not all cool wheels have to be Minilites, shockingly. These Image wheels? Look expensive



Judging by the Gathering threads already up and running (I'm always late with my homework) this Imp must be one of the most photographed cars in the show. My feeble offerings certainly bring nothing that hasn't already been stated better, clearer and more artistically, but there you are. This thread franchises to several other forums so you'll just have to put up with it





Sadly, no-one seems to want to photograph the slightly more dowdy red sibling sat alongside. Sad, but I guess good-looking girls always want to go places with a slightly chubbier, less glamorous friend...





Little green Ginetta was... well, vibrant!





All my life I've wanted one of those camper vans with a roof that sticks up. I've never even been in one, but I remember being stuck on family holidays on rain-swept campsites in a leaky tent that was so small it was more like a large overcoat with no sleeves, and looking enviously at those who had even such illusory solid shelter as a van with a lifty-uppy roof



Can't actually remember what this is the wheel off... although two thoughts spring to mind; 1) JPS is quite simply the best livery evarr and errrrr b) I want to play where the pool balls are that tiny, cos then I might stand a chance of getting one in the *&+$£ing pocket once in a while



We all love Hello Kitty, don't we? Well, my daughter does anyway. I'm more partial to Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom myself. (This is 100% true and not at all exaggerated for comedic effect)



I was taken in by this thing at Retro Show, mistaking it for a CSi BMW. Clearly it's a long-suffering Nissan. And I'm a fool. Certainly draws in attention



The Ally Cats on it just wouldn't look right in gleaming alloy and shiny paint



I would have walked straight past this if Pete hadn't pointed it out to me. This Mazda seems to have an oil cooler stuck to its bumper with some purple silicone poked into he unions. Not sure why.



and perhaps equally oddly, this RX-8 had a splitter placed carefully on the ground (but not actually attached to the car). I don't get it. Or is this now all part of "dressing" the car? Like, the BMW with the string-backed gloves and big stogie I got, the period newspapers and cigarette packets, all that I get. It's a bit of fun, a bit of added character, a bit of setting the scene This sort of thing? Hmmm...



In fact, there was plenty that was strange about this RX-8. For example, I dunno if these rear lights were home-made but the "lens" seemed to be made from something like clingfilm. Only less waterproof. Weirdness



The gearlever seemed to be a camshaft, too. Is this ironic? Like Massive in the Mean Machine sorta ironic? Can't be very comfortable to use!



Anyway, our random wanderings had brought us in a big circle back to where we started, which was nice. Some other guys had turned up for the Exile stand, which if nothing else relieved the blue theme that was running through it.



A car that will be familiar to many as Steve's restored Rexanne, now under new management. Still a truly wonderful and well sorted FB, even if the windows had decided not to work. Becos rotary...



Really I have to allow myself some self-indulgent pictures of our stand now, partly because I quite like some of them and partly because I haven't seen another single thread on RR that has any photos of it at all, and this makes me sad. All you rotary haters can go and make a cup of tea for a minute or something





Ad's FC went some way to relieving my personal dislike of them. Never seen one this colour before, but it suits very well. One thing I've always loved about the Turbo II is the offset hoodscoop. Very Mazda, they could have put it symmetrically in the centre line but they bloody well didn't want to so, there.



Dom had turned up with his Cosmo as well. There's only one thing wrong with this car, and that's that it doesn't have a 20B. However, what it still does have is a twin-turbo sequential 13B and a mad Star Trek lighty-uppy dash so that's damned well righteous enough



Right, that's enough rotaries for now, I can sense people shuffling their feet and sneaking off at the back. *sigh* Philistines. This, apparently, is a Venturi Atlantique 300. It's French and has a V6 three litre turbo. The only reason I even know this much is because I read it off the piece of paper in the windscreen. Another one to go n the Google list for later...



Plenty of cars were still arriving. This Pulsar/GTiR/Sunny (never quite sure which market got which name) looked great in the obligatory black (did they actually come in any other colour?). I always like to see a GTiR because I now at least know my rotary is no longer the most unreliable car in the ground, lol



In fact, there were a bewildering array of Datsuns of all kinds of flavours. Most of them I couldn't tell you what the hell they were, I never knew there were so damned many of the things back in the 70s (despite that Datsun built their UK headquarters a mile from my house, it looked like the massive monolithic HQ of the Tyrrell Corporation in Blade Runner) and find it amazing so many lasted to the present day, given how quickly they seemed to rust even when they were new. This is a 120A apparently. That's an easy one....



What pleases me about these, and indeed most Japanese cars of the period, is that every single model seemed completely non-interchangeable. There was none of this "the same grille will do for eighteen models over thirty years" that you got from the British car industry. Now, of course, it must be a nightmare to find parts for these old models, but at least every one has retained their identity. Even if numpties like me have no clue what they are...



See? They could have just made those light lenses flat, but where's the fun in that? Only problem with this 120A is that the wheels look tiny. No, I don't count gaffer tape as a problem



More one-size-fits-nothing-else design. Modelled on the overlapping plates of medieval Samurai laminate armour, or the scales of a prize Koi. Possibly



This one seems to have been taken from a Miura and had Datsun badges bunged on



Yet another grille unlike all the others. Lol, about this point I realised I'd got suckered into a weird world of taking pics of obsessively tiny details of bits of Datsun, but I couldn't stop. They're all such lovely bright Fruit Pastille colours too, it's just.... nice. Like finally giving in and being assimilated into the Borg



Must.... resist



Mmmm, nice use of the Fly-eyes stuff on this one. It's a touch that can look irretreviably naff but when done right on the right car looks excellent



One thing I've noticed about the wheels on these old Datsuns....



Right, that's enough of that. Let's move on, shall we? OK, one last Datsun grille then. Perhaps one of the most iconic of any hot hatch. Remember when M*x P*wer was full of replicas you could fibreglass onto the bonnet of your mum's Toyota Corolla four-door? Ahhh, happy times



I guess if the orange one is a baked bean then this must be a greenbean? Arf. It's OK, I was already going to Hell anyway



Another one of Eagle-eye Pete's spots, he was drawn to the headlight meshes on this Trumpet. Plenty of cars had them, it's a period thing and perfectly fine, but these were gold whereas all the ones we'd seen so far were silver. Turns out they were Retro Gold. Or "rust", as it's more commonly known. Not all that glistens, and all that. Oooh, Shakespeare too



It seems I must be getting old, because four doors is apparently still NOT two too many. Maybe it's just a Cortina thing, they wear their surfeit of portals with such easy grace



Carbon. We've talked about this sort of thing before. This is a wrap. If it was a Corrado actually made from proper pre-preg autoclaved black weave glory I'd want to marry it and have its children. As it is, looks cool, gets a photo



Forget everything I said about patination having to be genuine, I actually love this Bimmer despite myself. I have no clue what the shotgun cartridges embedded in it are supposed to say, or why it seems to have a head gasket (I've heard of them, never found a use for one personally) stuck to the roofrack. And you know what? I couldn't care less. It looks bloody excellent!





This, I understand less well. It must have taken bloody ages to do the entire car, but... well, I don't get it? Is it an in-joke about Peugeots being so well made they're like papier-mache? My man Ada had one that seemed to be shedding it's skin like a snake. The entire paint was peeling off it like Jeff Goldblum's face in The Fly. I think he was secretly hoping it was going to come out as the next model up or something, but instead all it did was keep falling to bits until he had to sell it for scrap value. Apparently, Pugs do not reproduce by binary fission like ameoba do after all



Love this Beetle. Or indeed, most Beetles. But this one especially



The old-skool American air conditioning tube things seem to be the de riguer accessory amongst the Veedub crowd this year. They certainly make a good talking point, if anyone who has one can explain to me how they work (or don't work) I'd be grateful, it's something I've often wondered/ Do they just funnel cold air in from outside or is there actual science going on in there somewhere?



I like Kinky Mick's style

[Lucky]

Timed it just right to stroll past the pin-striping dude's tent, cos it was just about the time he wheeled the Riley with the red nipples I'd fondled earlier in. Which meant he had to wheel this Model A out...



...which meant we got to spend a LOT of time wandering around taking loads and loads of pics of it...





....never got old. Lovely little detail touches wherever you looked



I assume this was the pinstriping wot was just being done to it. And that's a good thing, cos it makes this photo into an ethereal starscape over which lettering sits like a ghost trail of fireflies and a supernova of pinstriping coruscates above a glittering coast of stars. In my head anyway. It reminds me of the back cover of Hawkwinds Hall of the Mountain Grill, which probably says more about why I like the trippy shit than anything else



I like this one, rather like an event horizon or a Mobius oroborus, this is the point at which planes of reality intersect into a funky Escher depth perception anomaly. And it's got me in it. In triplicate, if you go far enough in. Join usss, lol



Excellent as the exterior is and much as I could (and did) waste a lot of time on it, the interior was if anything, more impressive



Yeah, the alcantara theme-matched doorcards were very nice, but the dash and instrumentation just blew me away. Superb, just superb



lol, in case it wasn't obvious, I've got a lot of love for this old Ford. Someone has put an awful lot of time, money, but above all, thought into this



We'd more or less completed a circuit of the club stands by now, although still managed to miss bits. What a show, so much to see! We still hadn't seen anything but the briefest of glimpses of the hillclimb, so decided to cross to the up-slope side where the generic retro parking was, to see the rest of the cars and get a view of the Hill. Firstly, we had to avoid getting run over by the hungover and belated arrival of the remaining Exile crew



I posted that one along with some other pics as a taster to whet appetites while I was sorting out the main body of photos, and received an email asking if I wouldn't mind not doing any more retouching as it was spoiling the ability of the correspondent to make out any details. In fairness, it was at least a pretty politely-worded email. Anyway, with this in mind have an almost identical but non-retouched version



Sorry about that, have to keep my adoring public happy. So we crossed over the bridge to mooch around the generic retro parking. This seems to be a respository of just as many great cars as the club stands, and indeed there seem to be plenty of clubs here anyway, so not totally sure what the distinction is. Roaming around the lower paddock you could keep catching glimpses of the delights the upper slopes had to offer;



Anyhoo, again in no particular order of anything... every time I see a Marina nowadays I wish I'd never got rid of mine. It was a fair bit older than this but seemed to be one of the good ones (yeah, ther were some). Only car I've owned that never broke down.



That'll be a Golf then, lol. Convertible, too. Just like Barbies, only not pink



And speaking of pink, here's another rare shot of the elusive Purple Panda. I think this strange posture is part of its mating ritual, showing off its plumage and camp sailor posture in an effort to attract a mate



Khaki green and rust. As a colour scheme, who'd have thought that'd work



This was another of my favourites from the entire show; a Standard (Eight, I think?) done with exactly the right amount of tidy/grunge mix



Loads of nice touches like the evil hook-grille arrangement





The occasionally precipitous slopes and bumps meant there were some mad angles on the cars. This Monaco gives a whole new take to "extreme parking"





Wide arched Starion rocked proper old skool JDM y0. Like shoulder pads. Or mullets. Still looks cool today. Errr, some of that isn't right is it? We like a nice Starion though



From up here you could look right down the whole length of the valley and enjoy the marvellous views. Through the trees are glimpses of packed stands full of great cars, and people wander about the grassy slopes or sit and picnic and watch the track action. Truly one of the most delightful settings for a car show you could imagine



We could see across to the underside of the hairpin and see some of the hillclimbs too, but mostly I missed almost all of the morning action. This fella got my attention though, knows how to steer from the rear!





A brown squashed Beetle with an extra couple of cylinders and Matchbox car wheels. Offer that description up and no-one would think you're looking at a genuine motoring icon. I preferred 911s back when they were like this



Is it always a case of the original version of something is the purest expression of what its creator intended? Certainly seems that way with cars (and albums, but that's another story). Not necessarily the "best" or most efficient, but the nearest to their emotional and aesthetic vision and thus something the viewer can understand on an instinctual level? By way of example, I love early MR2s but was quite badly traumatised by my experience of second-generation ones...



I'm habitually quite hazy about old Vauxhalls, not out of spite, but just because they're something that simply passed me by at the time. I believe this is a Victor 4/90?



Here it is again, only different.



This dude was pretty damned cool in my book. Not only did he roll up in a wonderfully scruffy and patinated V12 E-Type, but he leaned nonchalantly on the wing while his boy sat on the bonnet, eating their sandwiches and discussing the hillclimb action.



And just so as not to upset the anti-retouching purists...





E-Types are not a car you often see scruffy, they're either basket case full resto candidates or concourse quality with no middle ground between. One of the reasons I loved that one so much. Karmann Ghias, on the other hand, almost demand to be patchy and rusty and distressed

[Lucky]

I remember being baffled when, after what seemed like a hundred episodes of restoring every nut, bolt and washer on his MG Is Born series, that Mark Evans went and painted the bloody thing primer grey. What a waste, I thought. Along with many others, no doubt. However, this MGBGT proves that grey done right can be a strong look



And some things are pretty much begging to be left in primer.



Strange to find one of the more bizarre American oddities lurking here, even more so wearing Swiss plates.



Tell what it is yet, lol?





Yeah, the AMC Pacer, the car whose two USPs were that it was aerodynamically based on an American Football (it was the American equivalent of the British Allegro in that a] they were really quite bad and b] apocryphally, they were more aerodynamic going backwards than forwards) and that the passenger door was four inches longer than the drivers door.



This is actually completely true; according to the design team, this was to encourage Americans out of their giant sedans by proving that it was just as easy to effect your egress from a "small" compact like the Pacer. And it could seat five adults in comfort. Allegedly. Anyway, they were allegedly so bad one was of course one of the evil Lemon henchmen in Cars 2, but I think that's a bit harsh. After all, if nothing else, they're completely unique! I love them, especially in this colour. It makes me want a Caramac though



Camper van had an excellent bumper strategy going on



I spent my childhood bumping around in a Beetle just like this, even the same colour. Because I was the smallest child, I had to sit across the car, in the little cubby hole behind the back seats and above the engine. This was in the days of black-and-white, of course, nowadays some dreary, pious elf and safety nazi would have thrown my parents into the deepest dungeon in Parkhurst for such crimes and had me taken into care for my own protection



Avenger Tigers made for a gloriously colourful display of plumage



And they'd brought along a slightly dowdier mate. Are green ones not ripe yet? Avengers are like mangoes, who knew!





Nice little Hahhhnda complete with roofrack. Just right for civilised picnicking.





Hmmmm, a Vauxhall. Monza? Guessing. OK, it's a German version if you want to be pedantic





Apparently this is Daniel's FD. Batman logos make it good for at least another 25mph top speed.



Wish my wife was this dirty, lol



Moar Beetle. Nice colour, this. Very nice colour. Anyone know what it is? Is it an official VW colour?



Murderous Capri looked tough as a junkyard dog



more fly-eyes stuff



Peedey absolutely lost his bullshit over this Cortina. Not sure if it was the colour or the stance or what, but he spent ages drooling over it. We did discuss the acceptability of the word "stance" and I think it's OK, we're allowed to use it in certain circumstances. I still don't understand it though





Loving this Karmann Ghia 1500 thing



Low, slow and distressed. Perfick!



Are these the same as BMW lights of the time?







Lower than a stoats gusset



Errrr.... Victor? FE? Really, I suck at Vauxhalls even worse than I do at hotrods



Scruffy Baked Bean Wagon



I have a lot of respect and admiration for any car that combines a heat-wrapped exhaust outside the perimeter of the car with wooden Venetian blinds!



Sort of like a Baja, but without the bodywork. In fact, more like a stock Beetle with massive ride height, Wellers and huge tyres. Add external fixator cage like for teeth-straightening or greenstick fracture repair. What's not to like?





The incomparably well-built and impossibly tidy and clean Nightmare's Escort is an endless source of quality detail touches. I love this car, could fill a whole thread on it. If there wasn't one already, lol







Lots to like in this pic



Saw this Anglia somewhere before, IIRC it has a Cosworth YB in it, or did I dream that? Looks like it ought to be a serious track tool, would have loved to see it run



M3 reminded everyone of how pure the design was originally before it became the archetypal chest wig chariot it is now



Moar Beetle.



Not sure if there is a blue species of bean. Admittedly, I still have no idea what fava beans are, other than they're apparently nice with fried liver and Chianti





MX-5 was loooooow. Which a lot of them seem to be nowadays. I'm glad to say I think the days of the cliche hairdressers' car insults are long gone. And we all like a low MX-5. How low?



That low!



Area 52 had a nice spread, I liked the ancient can of T-cut. And this Daimler resplendent in Jewish Racing Gold



In the event of Zombie Apocalypse, you know who to call. At least with an R33 GTR it's a fast response vehicle, lol



Evidently this odd racing pickup thing actually started its life as a humble Ford Sierra!



The owner of this Caddy has obviously had similar garage experiences to me... the sort that leave you on your hands and knees too angry to cry, only able to sob through gritted teeth "pleeeeeeease start, you evil, vicious, hateful bastard!"



Cool bike-carb setup within may have something to do with it. One of the few things I don't miss about carburated multi-cylinder bikes is faffing around trying to balance carb vacuums



Always got time for a nice tight Zed. Dunno if they're like Avengers and green ones aren't ripe yet?



It just reeks of lazy sunny summers days for some reason. I dunno, it's my poets' soul maybe



The blue one alongside was slightly odd though. It did have a straight-six engine, which I guess you'd expect, but not necessarily in the flavour you'd expect. I'm no expert on Toyota lumps but this looks suspiciously like an xJZ to me. Why no RB lump, lol?



Maybe I'm odd but I always preferred the lines of the MGBGT coupe to the roadster open-top cars (the exact opposite of E-Types, where always thought the roofline spoiled it until I saw the grungy red one here) and this bomber-homage one works for me





Another unexpected engine in a surprising home here. Apparently this is not true, either, according to Pete no-one sucks like my mum



Grungy Viva had a Nissan Sr20 stuck in it. Looks like a very ghetto conversion, but seemed to suit the nature of the car



Teledials and big brakes on Milan's finest. Some things will never go out of style. Even if they did start off in Naples originally



Red hot chilli baked bean. Errr chilli bean? This one was for sale, and I needed to fight my phone hand into submission. Fortunately I couldn't get a bloody signal most of the day anyway, so that saved me buying any more cars I definitely don't need, lol

[Lucky]

By now we'd pretty much done a circuit of the entire shooting match, and decided to go for some lunch at round about the time the food outlet caught fire. Timing, huh. So we went for the burger shed instead, which was no great hardship. Quality burgerage, far above the quality of the oily mess you tend to get à la Santa Pod. Having sat on a split three-legged chair to digest that, it seemed that the action on the hillclimb really ought to be viewed properly at some point in the day, and now seemed a good time. So we climbed the sort of non-stairs to the "Pardon Hairpin". Still not sure why it's called that, maybe it's from a co-driver/pilot conversation... So, some hillclimb stuff...



I have an almost obscene amount of love for this... whatever the hell it is... Dunno. Is it some kind of Chapparal-based thing? Not a clue. Alls I know is it made a great noise, went like almighty stink and looked absolutely bonkers. I think it should be made law that all cars should have one intake and one exhaust per cylinder



Forced induction mad Mini was... well, mad, really. A lot of cars turn into tripods here but nothing pulled it off with quite such aplomb







Gotta love any car that can no longer actually contain its own engine so it prolapses out all over the place



Always raises a smile watching the prodigious grunt of Nightmares' 'Scort bludgeoning its way up a tiny narrow twist of tarmac. Like bringing a Vulcan cannon to a knife fight. Yeah, why not try to get the exhaust down, as well, lol



Hotwheels need to make one of these!



Mad Golf is mad!





I think that was about all I managed of the demo cars, I didn't manage a single shot of the Quattro running, much to my chagrin. So the rest of the action shots are of random punters ragging their pride and joys. Which is no bad thing in itself. First, another one of those brilliant views down through the trees. Honestly, you'd be happy coming somewhere so picturesque for a picnic, let alone with so many cool cars thrown in as well



Errrm, a Metro. Not actually sure why I took this. It might have been the wheels. Or it might have been cos I had Pete bending my ear about shutter priority over aperture priority setting and their relative methods and I might have taken it to shut him up and pretend I was listening



MX-5. White and low. There's a trend emerging here...



Errr...



Evo proves two things; a) not everything has to be retro to be funky, and b) rally-winning purebred heritage means nothing when you can still miss an apex by quite so many light years...



...albeit not quite as far as this Zed, mind you!



Happily the only damage was to pride (and possibly pants) and it stayed out of the gravel and more importantly, tyre wall



Still don't understand the headgasket. Still like the car



Trumpet with the gold(ish) headlight grilles



Moar Zed



One of few truly retro cars that can pull off big wheels IMHO. Mostly it looks wrong, but Zeds seem to suit the look really well for some reason



Is this the last living Dimma kit? Modifying icon if it is, up there with TSW Venoms lol



Angrier looks as though it could use some new suspension/sway bars if this sort of driving is going to become a habit! Ooooooover on the doorhandles, old son, lol



Normally Hahhhndas give me indigestion (think it's that noise they make) but this JDM 'teg is proper



So much nicer than the weirdy frenched-in headlights the UK models got



That Sunbeam with the wonderfully deep banded steels



If there's a car yet built that doesn't suit Viper Stripes I've not yet seen it. Stuttgart's most eccentric offspring proves the rule



Yellow bubble-arched Escort tests the brakes. Know the problem, mate





Another Zed. The place was infested with them!



Murderdeathkill Toyota looks tough



Dom's 13B Cosmo made a good case for itself, despite being the kind of luxo-barge you'd think would struggle badly. Mazda quality handling and twin-turbo rotary makes a powerful case for itself





Standard looks just as bonkers/cool scurrying up the hill as it did parked up



I can't look at these pics without hearing a little Thomas the Tank Engine-style voice in my head as he struggles uphill with the troublesome trucks... Hurry hurry hurry almost there nearly there I can do it I WILL do it I can do it I WILL do it....



Rear-engined Ginetta thing hustled along nicely

[Lucky]

After a while we had to go back down the hill as a very kind RR'er (thanks to Kee) had brought some wheels down from the Far North for a mate. So we went back to the Exile stand to relieve him of the wheels. The other latecomers had now swelled our stand numbers. James was providing the essential information, knew there was a reason FB bonnets flip up the "wrong" way. It's to save having a stand banner



At least the newcomers brought a bit more colour to the stand, to relieve the blue lol



Amazing that NEV made it at all really when you think only a week ago he was in a shed in bits. Only the failure of the Hiroshima Abortion FB to get its rotten carcass through an MOT provided NEV with the engine transplant he needed to live once more. And some work on the spring/cutting disc interface!





Dave's arrival with his wobbly table meant we could finally get the old rotor ornament out on display, complete with essential pink blanket. No, that's not a euphemism for something, it's just a pink blanket.



Anyway, this seemed quite a hit judging by the number of people who stopped and stared at it in a slightly baffled and/or disbelieving way. It's an engine? Really? But how does it actually work? Like voodoo magic! And two doritos on a pencil...



I thought Smurf's FB was on TWR wheels but apparently they're Wolfrace? Looks most righteous anyway. I like a nice red RX-7, lol Unfortunately, mine isn't nice. One day I'll get to meet the Smurf dude, neither of these fine figures of manhood are he



Sucks like my mum. Allegedly



Adam left before I got a chance to say hi, so I've still no idea what the latest rotary project his dad's got hold of is. If it turns out anywhere near as good as the others it'll be worth waiting for



So after a good ol chat with fellow Exiles (including admiring Dave's rotary belt buckle, which was the acme of utter subzero cool. Madame le Jo noticed it first, I'm not sure what she was looking for at the time though) there was nothing left to do but check out the last few bits we hadn't already seen. Sadly, it was a bit late now and most of the demo cars were lying dormant or being packed away. Still, better late than never. I can't believe it was getting on to five o'clock and we'd only just thought to check out the startline paddock. Doh!



I love this mad thing. It's just like a Hot Wheels toy made full-size. Wonderful!



The Golf showed an engine bay full of form over function. Who knows, maybe airboxes adapted from alloy wastebins will catch on in the show and shine. Actually, that's too flippant even for me really. This is the sort of purity of function that develops a beauty all of its own



Plenum looks like it was whittled from a block of pure unobtanium by Hatori Hanzo



I'm sure the mad bodywork all serves some purpose. Must do. Surely? No-one would go to such obsessive lengths of canardary for no reason (that's canard as in aerodynamic fin-like aid, not as in a base lie. Or a duck)



Splitter could do some serious damage if you got in the way. I love that this thing has a number plate, and by extrapolation since it was also eligible to run on hill, an MOT. I'd love to rock up to the local MOT test centre in this. The collective sucking of air-though-teeth would sound like a nest of rattlesnakes



Still, at least the Quatro was fairly subtle. And... errr.. understated. And pretty... errm. No, actually none of these things



Pleased to note it's got the same wastegate as my FD. So at least I'm doing something right. Mine's red though, so it must be faster



In fact, much like many competition vehicles the bay has brutal simplicity on its side. Massive blower; massively strong lump to hold the bangs; big tubes to get air in and out fast; ignition that would set fire to the proverbial bucket of piss. Job done



Oh, and lots and lots of spark plugs, of course. Something has to give...



Nice doubling-up of function, what appear to be oil coolers in the wing. Not sure what that does to its aerodynamic efficiency but it looks damned clever



And (as always) to try and end on a high, something that's just downright beautiful in anyone's language...



Not sure what this old girl was parked up here for, she seems a bit... what's the word... posher than the average weldathon rescue mission that proliferates Retro Rides (that's in a good way, BTW)



But it was a very welcome parting glimpse of the Gathering, as we packed the not-especially-spacious boot of the FB with a random set of wheels and half a rotary engine, all packed in optimistically with the legendary pink blanket in a vain attempt to stop the rattles. Still, at least it beat last year when I left with an entire front bumper hanging a foot out of the back hatch...



So, in short, a fantastic day out. A good drive (which I didn't die doing, always a bonus), great company, and a superb selection of cars. Yeah, there were some modern cars running up the hill (so what?) yeah, there were some deeply upsetting things around like mid-noughties four door Corollas borrowed from Mum, but if you didn't like that, just move on. There was always, always something worth looking at and looking twice at parked just next door.

I love the Gathering. It's got the best vibe of any show, the best scenery by some margin and I love the way that every car there has been driven there, sometimes in defiance of substantial odds against it making the journey. Someone loves each and every car, even the 00ies Corollas; loves it for its own sake, for what it means to them, not for what it says about them, not so they can bask in its reflected glory or boast about key-chain label cachet or how rare or how expensive or how blah blah blah it is. If other people love it too then that's a bonus. It's a beautiful thing.

...now all we need to do is persuade a few more of those damned heathen to see the path to rotary righteousness



Thanks for staying till the gritty end where we're pouring stale fag-butt infested Stella down the sink and just shovelling all the debris into black sacks before slumping into a half-drunk half-hungover mess on the sofa to sleep it off.

now, go away

[codge]

Fabulous Nik, As Always.......

I'll go Anglia on the boxy Ford.

[ian65]

nice photos for those of us who couldn't make it.... like the pics of the AMC Pacer ....... Schwing!

[spirit r]

Great!!!!!!!!!!!

Murderous Capri = boah!!!