PICS! Retro Show late homework

[Lucky]

Here's my humble offerings then... late, as usual. The customary disclaimers apply; you may have seen similar pics posted from other people but if that's the case they're clearly interesting photos and bear repeating, lol. Please don't take offence at any of the commentary, it's not intended to insult or upset, it's what passes as humour in my odd head. Don't get upset if I missed your car, I can't get everything in. Don't be upset if I'm cheeky or blasé about your pride and joy, it's not intentional and if you've put every waking minute and free florin into it, you don't care what some random off the internetz' opinion is, right? In fact, just don't get upset. It's only a car forum. Finally, since I'm intrinsically lazy this will be shamefully cut'n'pasted onto at least four forums, so apologies if certain in-jokes or references don't translate very well.



On we go then... Bereft of the usual need to meet up at three different points en route, and wait while people crash/break down/get lost, me and Madame le Jo got there nice and early for a change. My FB wasn't finished in time, which was annoying, but it did mean we got the luxury of speed from good ol' Ruby. The Exile Rotorsport stand was looking a bit... sparse!



Mind you, #&*@! it, that's as many cars as MRC got all day at Japshow one year, so we were already winning as soon as anyone else turned up. So, we sauntered off to look at the early arrivals. Jo has developed an embarrassing habit of pointing at random cars and going "Oooh, I like that one, it looks like Ralph. What's that one?" to which the answer is invariably "A Capri. Again" (Ralph is her incredibly bad-tempered RX-4, for those who don't know. So, with this in mind, here's a Capri...



Although in fairness to Madame le Jo, it's a pretty special one, and yeah, RX-4s do look a bit MkI Capri-ish. If you squint! This wide-arch beastie's had some work right enough, bodyworks lovely. Slight hint of offset fail on the front, but that's a lot of arch to fill!



Just over the way from Exile was a Volvo stand. I'm not honestly sure when Olvovs became retro... this wasn't a stand full of Amazons or P1800s, you understand. Mind you, their military precision in parking demands some kind of commemoration, so here they are



Opposite was some sort of "Such-and-such RACING" stand which was notable for going Fiesta - Fiesta - Fiesta - Fiesta - Corolla - Fiesta - Fiesta - Fies.... hang on, what was that? Aha, an interloper!



Towards the back of the strip the serious drag boys were unloading their vehicles and prepping and generally doing all the unfathomable pedantic things that are apparently essential to drag racing. FWD dragsters always look odd with their back-to-front pram-wheels-back fat-wheels-front setup. If for no better reason than that's a lot of hyphens



This is clearly not your average BimmerMini, not with that humongous turbo strapped to it



To me, this is what a street dragger is; a big, brutal engine, rear wheel drive, loud as hell. I've taken pics of this Chevy Nova several times before. It's great, even got an ironic name (Bossa Nova, see what they've done there?) BUT...



...I've never yet managed to get a decent pic of just how trippy and downright groovy the metalflake lettering is. Maybe this'll be the year?



Or maybe not... maybe it only looks like that in my head. Sad times. Anyway, here's a nice chewed rubber pic to make up for it



I've no idea what this is. No, really



I mean, I can tell that it's a vast Yank V8 in a one-off body and chassis, but as to what it actually is, not a scooby. Cool 'nuff though, innit



It's got nearly the same slogan on it as my Exile T-shirt too. Although that says "Rotard or Go Home" which I think is funnier. But as we've already established, I'm easily amused.



Aha, something recognisable! Well, sort of. Fair to say, this is not your average Roller



Not that there's any such thing as an average Roller, arguably. But even the more-average-than-most ones don't generally come with twin turbo cheeky little Tial wategates poking out of the wheel arches behind the skinny drag hoops



...or have side-exit drag pipes, tubbed rears and a parachute, for that matter



Holy cow, that's a lot of engine! Sadly, I missed this thing running first time and I gather they had problems so it never ran again throughout the day. Major bummer, I was properly looking forward to seeing this gentleman's express hitch up its britches and charge for the horizon



Looking slightly more ordinary(if a rare Consul Capri in Rape Yellow can be considered ordinary).... but not much. This thing has some kind of big yank V8 in it and sounds immense.



I love this thing.



Quite apart from the fact I love any car that's largely made from wood, I love the bonkerness of shoehorning a huge v8 into a poor tired little Moggy Traveller and watching the poor thing flex like a bin liner in high wind trying to hold it all in.



The view from the rear is just hilarious... nice wood doors (try not to trip on the wheelie bars)... then the original centre-mount Morris speedo... massive rev counter hanging from the roof.... BLOWER! Mad genius at its best



I've tried to take photos of this Mustang on numerous occasions in an attempt to capture the marvellously trippy and downright groovy the pearlescent paint is. maybe this'll be the year it all works out?



Or maybe not. Sucks being me. Maybe next year...



Taz Racing never fail to entertain with the range of insanity they manage to pack into the diminutive Fiat 126. I think they may be colour-coded in order of insanity, from the relatively humble rear-engined Hahhhhnda yellow one to this blue Toyota to the v8 spaceframed front-engined red and apocalypse orange ones.



I didn't see this thing come off the trailer all day, which is a shame cos if it went as well as it looks, it should have been a good wheeze. Maybe they had a fault develop the day before or something.



On the subject of proper drag tools, it's nice to see good old fashioned oil-boiling Suzuki blunderbusses are still a mainstay. These are the hairy-arsed bikes I grew up admiring, brute strength and ignorance. Only a shame back then Suzuki were more surprised than anyone when they fluked building a good bike, imagine what they'd have been like with a chassis to match the lump. It was like half five on a Friday in the design team office and they were smoking furiously going "well, we managed to get the engine to go up to eleven and a half, shall we pull a late-nighter and give it a frame that isn't made of liquorice and some running gear that can reign in the power, or shall we get up the karaoke bar and get lathered on poncy foreign import beer whilst caning the wasabi-drenched raw fish?". Yep, beer o'clock again, then



We passed by the Exile stand on the way to the grandstand, and it was good to see Adam had turned up with his immaculate Series 2, though there was no sign of him or his old man.. or more importantly, the alleged new rotary his dad was looking at buying. I guess we'll have to keep guessing a while longer. I'm still hoping it was that Luce that went for sale a while back...



lol. I always think that rotaries are the Dark Side of the Force anyway, nice to have it confirmed. You don't know the POWER of the dark side mwahahaha



and we also passed by the black FB from down in Devon, the owner of which I still haven't managed to meet or find out his name, lol. Is it you? Are you one of these blokes? Step out of the shadows hahaha



Very cool car anyway, sits well



By now the track was thundering away to the roar of runners, and the end of the queuing lane was a good place to spot cool cars without needing to move about. Which suits me cos I'm lazy and fat. This wide-arch Mustang caught my eye



It was while I was indulging in this sedentary pastime when the world filled up with rolling thunder of the most wonderful kind and the first inkling I had that something special was about to happen was this drove past;



"What was that?" asked Madame le Jo, rarely showing an interest in something that clearly wasn't a Capri for a change. "Looked like a deTomaso Pantera" I muttered in reply, barely allowing myself to believe it. Only one of my favourite cars of all time, after all... But sure enough, it bloody well was. And what's more, it was followed by another... and another... and.... oooooh, Mother!



Now, I might get a bit self-indulgent now. If you don't like deTomasos then I suggest you pop off and put the kettle on for a few minutes, have a nice cup of tea (and by the way, there's something seriously wrong with you). The rest of us are going to wallow in some of Argentina's finest ever product for a while



These guys were all Swedish, who knew Scandawegia was such a hotbed of rare and exotic supercars? And how hardcore for them to be convoying around and gracing our humble Retro Show? I thought we were pretty stoic for getting 200 miles up the road in a red-hot turbocharged RX-7, but intercontinental touring in a Pantera is for the truly dedicated nutter!



For those who don't know, the Pantera is the lovechild of Count Alejandro de Tomaso's Modena-based niche car company. It was the company's first monocoque chassis, and is in essence a really big box to hold a Ford 351 Cleveland v8 (sometimes a Windsor in later cars) and ZF transaxle, with somewhere in front to store two people of great tolerance and adventurous spirit



although this one's gone all modern and had an LSx conversion. Bloody LSs, they stick 'em in anything nowadays lol


This is touring Pantera-style. Spacious it ain't. Lol, what do I know, I've got a tiny car built for Japanese race midgets with a coal-black interior and a red-hot downpipe running and inch away from my leg. This is downright luxury



It's a proper old school supercar, a blunt grunt instrument with looks to die for, and anyone like myself who was playing Top Trumps back in the 70s will understand my feverish level of arousal. The brand logo is derived from the Argentinian flag and the T-shaped "bones" brand of the de Tomaso cattle ranch that provided the family fortune that made such wonderful cars possible.



In actual fact, the cars were designed to be exotic with modern features when new, aircon, electric windows, even "open door" buzzers. This was 1971, remember. Inadvertently, a "special" feature they hadn't intended was the way that leaning on the centre arm rest would activate the cigarette lighter inside the flip-up structure!



I might have got a bit carried away with taking pics of these, but everywhere you look there are lovely little detail touches



But since I suffered for my art, rolling around on the floor, you can damn well appreciate them some more, lol



It's not all about the exotic and perfectly-formed rumps, though. The face is just as pretty. Elvis Parsely had one of these, y'know... that fat bloke in the white suit who used to cover Pet Shop Boys songs as a pub singer in Vegas.



OK, I think I'm Pantera-ed out now. But Panteras are not the only fruit. Their older sister was also along for the ride...



Can you tell what it is yet?



Yeah, well done. The earlier Mangusta differed from the later de Tomasos in that it had a steel backbone chassis rather than a monocoque. This means that it has perhaps the best boot/engine bay access of any car ever;



By "best" I clearly mean "maddest", by the way. The clamshells hinge in the middle, meaning the "boot" is actually a small pocket on each side, outboard of the engine compartment and forward of the wheel arch. You don't travel with much luggage if you tour a Mangusta... but it does give it a superb profile when both "wing cases" are open, sorta like a huge predatory insect about to fly;



The interior betrays its earlier design line over the Pantera, there's a much more kit-car kind of feel about it, with the flat dash scattered with clocks seemingly at random. I like the face-obliterating metal steering boss though. Little consideration to crash ergonomics in those days



I have a massive amount of love for this beast, perhaps more even than the Panteras and not just because of its added rarity. It's just such a unique vehicle, different and odd and funky just because it can be. I like different things. I like people who make mad things not because its the best way or the cheapest or the least compromised, but simply because they bloody well want to



And to be fair, it's pretty good looking too, innit



The final instalment in the de Tomaso trilogy, courtesy of our far-travelling Swedes, was the later car from their luxury arm, a Deauville (not to be confused with the ferociously dull Hahhhhnda motorcycle of the same name, which is the most tedious form of transport ever devised and is so anonymous you'd struggle to describe one five seconds after dismounting from it. Literally the motoring equivalent of magnolia). This is more a case of understated refinement.



and the interior is more of a gentleman's club than the sporty playboy bar of the earlier cars. Wood and pleated leather abound. Mmmm, nice

[Lucky]

So, sufficiently denuded from rubbing up against Panteras in an almost sexual frenzy (oooer) it was time to stagger off and try to watch some drag racing. On the way we passed some interesting things wot iz worthy of picktchers. Everyone likes a nice tight Pop don't they?



And I always have time for a big American pickup. Loving this Task Force Apache



Seems a trifle incongruous to see modern gizmos charging in a truck that was invented before the computer, let alone the satnav and the USB charger, lol



Rather strangely there was a display of classic tractors here, which I suppose were retro but not maybe what most people turned up to see. Unless there were a lot of people there like Major Tom, but I always thought he was a one-off. In a good way, of course. However, there was an old Fordson just like the one I used to battle with back at agricultural college and this thing which I had to take some pics of, not just because of its brilliantly-shaped smokestack and Lego tractor profile...



...but also because it boasted the best emblem and livery I've seen on just about any vehicle, let alone a tractor. It's awesome! Field Marshall, y'see, see what they've done there?



Can't pass up a chance to take photos of weirdy wobbly worlds reflected in hubcaps. It's what moondiscs were made for



We passsed this Cosworth Capri on the M25 on the way up, think it's built by Toulemin (sp?) Motors. Certainly finished to a superb standard and it sounded excellent burbling along on the motorway



Just across from the grandstand was the rather odd sight of a Rolls Royce Merlin engine bolted to a trolley. No, really



I gather this was doing a display thing, they were going to start it up and run it at some point during the day. I dunno if this happened or not, if it did I didn't hear it, which you'd expect to given the four-inch exhaust zoomies, lol



As engineering Objets d'art go, it's well worth pausing to admire, mind.



So finally made it to the Grandstand. Hurrah, time to watch some dragging. Except someone pretty much immediately broke their rear end and the track closed. Arse! No, not that sort of arse... errr, rear end...errrm



So we abandoned the track while the Pod crew messed around with their mops and rubber-dragging tractor and went to mooch round the Show 'n' Shine paddock. Before we reached it there was the matter of one of these;



A pretty rare thing, a 1958-ish DKW Service van. DKW, as any fule kno, stands for "Dampf Kraft Wagen" or "Steam-Driven Car" and was one of the four marques merged to form the Auto Union back in 1932. This one's seen some action, it would appear. Dunno if this is patination so much as "mullered"



I love the badge on the rear end. Note how they used the "O"s of "Auto Union" to put the screw holes through so that they don't interfere with the purity of the lettering. Only an German can produce this level of OCD attention to detail, lol



Beautifully Spartan interior has nothing it doesn't need and even doesn't have a few things it does need. Fan screwed to "dash"....errrr, non-dash... looked pitifully inadequate to cope with the soaring temperatures.



And while we're on the subject, what's with the sun coming out at Santa Pod? I've never seen such a thing, didn't know what to do with myself and half my photos were overexposed. I'm used to windburn and overcast skies, lol



Alongside the DKW was another German legend of utilitarian transportation. A VW splitscreen truck, very cool.



And then a quick stroll over the crossing through the stationary queue to reach the Show and Shine. This is always a random selection at any event, usually filling the entire spectrum of car projects from money-no-object nut and bolt restos to every day cars which are a bit special and the owner reckons it's worth showing off, to utter abortions people have put in for a laugh, to works in progress and finally those characters who didn't have a stand pass, didn't fancy the muddy carpark and have blagged their way on here. You know who you are, lol. On this occasion the first sight was of a whole row of Beetle noses



the first of which belonged to this rather excellent Beetle rod in fetching Murder Black



Not sure how it gets away without even cycle wings on the but it's all the better for it, looks hard as Ray Winstone's pool ball.



whilst somehow rather incongruously managing to retain the gawky goggle-eyed Beetle charm out in front. Good trick that



I'm sure as many pages of internet drone have been written about patina and whether faux patination is class or arse, so I won't delve too deeply into it here. Personally I tend to rebel against anything that's too contrived and artificial, especially in the name of just being scene and blindly adhering to whatever the de rigeur trend is. Don't follow leaders, kids. Oh, and watch the parking meters.



Ahh, this is more like it, me thinks.



What is it with these funny little nose spoiler windscreen things, then? There were loads of them clipped to Beetle snouts like little odd Victorian pince-nez. I guess they have no real use whatsoever, but here we are talking about them so I suppose they work on that level, lol



Here's another. Any colour you like, maybe they're like the belts in karate and the colour signifies how strong your mojo is in Beetle world?



To be fair, I rather liked this ratty example. It seems like it's not trying too hard, unlike some of the others which appeared to suffer slightly for trying to score as many VW scene points as they could. Like the I-Spy book of Beetle Modding Must-haves.



German, apparently. Who knew?



Lol. Maybe so, but I think I'd rather be mates with a decent maxilo-facial surgeon after smashing my gourd into this unyielding metal...



Moving on from Wolfsburg's finest, how about something Oriental? This Zed (260, I think) seems to be a permanent feature here, but that's OK. It's gorgeous



Think these might be Rotas, but we won't hold that against them, they certainly sit mighty fine. Besides, it's not as if it's a wheel style that hasn't been copied by everyone and their dog already



Little 126 is endearingly cute. Sometimes I have to force aside my deep post traumatic stress brought on by 127 ownership and remind myself they are quite cool little things when done right



Piston/flywheel dog is a work of art. Someone needs to weld up the Rotordog from the FDUK hoodies one day I reckon, see if it comes out so well



I always seem to manage to sneak in a picture of an el Camino no matter what the theme of the show is, and this was going to be no exception. 12-second pickup, what's not to like?



"Els" together. I see your "The Road" and raise you "The Bastard" lol



Bel Air dash shows how to do patination properly, with an air of well-respected nonchalance. This is the sort of wear that only comes from being over fifty years old



....whilst the outside was immaculate, I love that the owner left little original touches like the cracked instrument glass to continue the identity of the car over post-restoration



Now, I've got this often-stated anti Bimmer thing goign on, but that doesn't mean I'm totally blind to the charms of certain specimens from the stable of the blue and white propeller. For example, it would be difficult indeed to pass by a certain car in the Show 'n' Shine and not stop for a closer look



It's rare to use words like "immaculate" and "superb" and "flawless" and even "awesome" to describe a car and for them to actually be 100% accurate, but this car was all these things and more besides. Honestly, I don't think there's a superlative you could apply that wouldn't be utterly deserved



The old boy who did the work was disarmingly humble about it, but when he showed me through the folder of build photos you could see why. He was happy to let his work speak for itself.



All the more impressive when you see this started life as a narrow-arched tatty and slightly rusty specimen of 2002 Tii and all you see here is basically down to the dude's art and vision



and the attention-to-detail is simply awe-inspiring! The ramps it stood on are artworks in their own right, not just the neatly radiussed cutouts for the tyres, but they even have little billet-mounted BMW logos in each and every one!



For God's sake, even the boot build was flawless, with matching fifth BBS alloy, strut brace perfect in polished alloy, battery box, one-off mats and surround and the neatest folder of build photos ever.



The underside was just as clean and well-finished as the topside. Tell you what, I actually have run out of superlatives. How about I just shut up and let you enjoy some pics for a minute?







No surprise that the interior had the same manic level of prep. Looks like plenty of one-off billet controls and a full re-trim, plus immaculate wiring has gone on in here. Even the mirror adjustors have little billet BMW logos on them!



OK, enough with the 2002 now. Let's go from the sublime to the ridiculous, shall we? How to make an otherwise dull car stand out in a showground? Put a pushbike on the roof, apparently. Oh, and stickerbomb the wheels.



Yeah, it would appear it's as simple as that. OK, kinda cool in its own way maybe, but in the show 'n' shine? Seriously? I don't think this tactic wins you best of breed at Pebble Beach, lol



Just a quickie to dispel the myth of my irrational MkI Golf hatred. It's another one of my previous cars that traumatised me quite badly, I can't help it. This one, however, is a completely different saucepan of halibut.



M*x P*wer might be dead and gone but in a way it's heartwarming to see that there is a corner of a middle English field that is forever late nineties styling vacuum.



This made me look twice... back in the day I was never convinced by the Clubman re-style on the classic Mini. And indeed, neither was anyone else judging by the way the original styling outlasted the later version by a couple of decades. However, with time and separation it looks better than it did back then, oddly. This one looked pretty cool at a glance. It's got "stance" (*spits* hate that word, but y'know what I means). Then you start to notice little things like the engine's not a transverse mount... and in fact, it's an MX5 lump, those Lotus-aping twin cam covers are unmistakeable... then you notice the wheels are all in the "wrong" places for the arches... and now you think about it, they're MX5 wheels too.... hang on a minute...



Excellent! I love bonkers conversions like this. Yep, rather like an automotive Hannibal Lector wearing someone else's face as a disguise, it's an MX5 wearing a recently-skinned Mini Clubman. Definitely a work in progress, mind, the wiring looks positively terrifying



Shall we play another game, while we're playing guessing games? How about a quick Spot the Difference? OK, here we go, see if you can guess which is which; Firstly a Lego bike as made by my li'l 'un Conrad, aged six



And a BMW K1, the ugliest faired bike ever produced as designed by a panel of highly experienced and no doubt moustachioed serious Germans with the might of the R&D department of one of the foremost and most influential automotive manufacturers on the planet?



It's a tough one, innit? lol. Here's a lovely Scirocco to make up for it. This is mostly to remind Cyman that Sciroccos don't have to be hideously ugly...



MkI Cortina had presence and purpose, can't help but feel it would have been as at home in the queue as the show 'n' shine paddock



Wing comes from a more halcyon day of Halfords accessorisation. Not actually sure that's a word, now I think about it

[Lucky]

This funny old thing stuck in the corner was quite interesting. From a distance it looked like some obscure vintage car, but closer up it clearly wasn't. That didn't make it any easier to establish exactly what the hell it was, though



You can see why the owner had chosen to name it after the 57 varieties of a certain famous bean-based product though. There must be bits of at least that many types of car in here...



He was a very affable chap, the owner/builder, happy to talk about his construction. When I commented it must have taken ages to put together, he just shrugged nonchalantly and said "Yeah, about three months, I suppose". Dang!



Nice to see a classic Mini embracing modern wundermateriel such as carbon and that.



By now the faithful Pod rubber tractor had done its work and the track was open again, so we mooched back over to watch some dragging. This thing looks even more a preposterous mix of purposeful, hunched aggression and jolly playful cuteness on the strip than it does in the paddock



There was quite a tailwind up the track which surprised a few people who put on a fine burnout show and then found themselves having to wait out their own smokescreen



Madame le Jo insisted I take this one, because if there's a sort of car she likes even better than Capris it's one that looks like a baked bean. A marvellously orange Ford for your entertainment and delight, ladies and gents. I'd love to say whether it was a Prefect or a Popular or whatever, but I never have known which was which, so I won't try...



...although I'm rather hoping that this mean primer grey one is a Popular because then I can do the old "pop a wheelie" joke? Anyone? No? I'll get me coat



Since I was forced to stop riding bikes I've gained more of an outsiders perspective on what an act of bravery it actually is, especially to fire yourself at the horizon on something as ballistic as this. Would have been even nicer if I'd got it all in-frame



Slightly uneven Ford vs Ford battle now, though both were immaculate in terms of presentation. You'd have to fancy the Mustang over the Anglia, though. I can't believe I even had to type that...



And another Ford seemingly inappropriate to its surroundings yet capable of a surprising turn of speed



A nice old Triumph 2k being forced to behave in a most ungentlemanly manner



and BossaNova in its natural environment, doing what it does best



No matter how many times I go to the Pod, I never get tired of taking photos of drag launches. I love the brutal poetry of the car launching in real time, but that freeze-frame split second stuck in the camera can reveal all sorts of extra automotive beauty that the naked eye never sees. Like the wrinkle-wall rear slick earning a living here, for example



I love two-stroke bikes, too. The noise, that aggressive crackle rising to a scream; the smell, that Castrol R burnt oil fragrance that hints at barely-contained or understood chemical energy; the sudden leap from docile cat to powerband amphetamine powered predator... the infernal combustion engine in its purest and most bonkers form. Except rotaries, of course. Here's a nice Yam stroker complete with zany spannie alignment



And now for something a bit more pastoral and beatific. I've seen these guys up at the Pod a few times, I guess they're lured in by the leftover remains of dogburger and chips. Whatever works. QI moment; the genus name of the buzzard is Buteo, in fact true buzzards have a rare repetitive species names i.e. Buteo buteo, which is unusual, only a few animals have them, such as fox which is Vulpes vulpes or badger Meles meles, but we digress. When the inventor of a certain popular table football game wanted to cal it "Hobby" he was refused a trademark on the grounds of common linguistic property. So he did the next best thing, and named it after a subspecies of buzzard, the hobby (Falco subbuteo) and the rest, as they say, is history. I don't know if buzzards actually do eat chips but they're scavengy little sods, I imagine they do. Probably even they'd turn their beak up at a Santa Pod dogburger though.



Anyway, even the circling buzzards took a look at what was rolling onto stage next and wisely did one, presumably to find a nice sheltered place to hunch up with their wings over their ears.



Never get tired of watching Fireforce. I can see why the buzzards aren't keen though. The tailwind meant the jetcar was pretty much making its own weather



and I don't care if you're five years old or fifty, if you're not giggling like a child at the sight of a jet engine on wheels that ca shoot out twenty foot flames, then you're not really living, you're just taking up room.



Ran consistent 5.9 second runs too, so it's not exactly just for show, is it?



On that note we went for a wander, partly to see if any of the other Exile crew had turned up, partly because all the discussion of buzzard dietary habits had made us peckish for a dogburger, and partly... errr, what was the middle one again? Anyway, there are always new cars turning up to look at so it's worth walking around a couple of times. Oooh, look, a Simca 1200 coupe. Lovely



We found KiwiDave and Norton lurking around the Panteras looking decidedly furtive (it's hard not to look like a sex-pest disturbed mid-frottage when Panteras are involved, to be fair) so that meant that at the very least we now had TWiR and WankelPop on the stand, so off we went to check them out.



But wait a minute, there was a pleasant surprise there, too. What's that lurking in the middle there?



What must be about the longest continuously-owned RX-7 FB in the UK, the lovely Elford Turbo belonging to Rip-7. Superb car, and a really nice guy, it was a pleasure to meet up and hear the tale of the cars' worthy resurrection



Fifteen years in one owners' hands is rare enough, but to bring it back from neglect and dereliction is worthy of much respec.



The heart of the matter; old-school carburetted turbo setup. Homemade strut brace work in progress



Dave's TWiR looks as good as ever. And worthy of respect since we know from firsthand experience it's as fast as a single turbo FD on the street!



Eat... sleep... rotary? Damn right, except if you work on the railway you can pretty much forget about the middle one, eh Dave?



Three magic letters and evidence that ol' TWiR has seen polish at some point recently. Unless that white deposit is from something else...



It's a shame I let the side down here with my vulgar modern plastic car really. It would have been nicer had my FB been here to make this shot moar betterer



And so to a car I've been looking forward to meeting for ages, and I wasn't disappointed. From here it looks like a "normal" Ford Pop, nicely finished, neat touches, all that



but the special one-off Rods 'n' Sods stickers replacing the more traditional crossed pistons with an altogether more righteous form of internal combustion regulation give the game away



Yes, it's the one... the only... WANKELPOP! All hail WankelPop. A full-fat nasty Old One built bridgeported twin rotor beats as the heart of the beast. Here Madame le Jo is caught giggling at the size of its horn, though. That isn't smutty innuendo or a euphemism for anything, by the way, that's an actual fact. It's got a massive horn. Jealous much?



Nice and tidy in here, and I'm a sucker for a bombslut decal so that was all the coercion I needed to stick the lens inside. Oooh.



All this plus trafficators! Do rides get any more righteous than this? Lol. Sadly, I managed to utterly screw up all the pics of the engine bay, so you'll have to wait till I get round to uploading the video to YouTube for that. Hopefully worth the wait, cos it'll probably be a long one. They're on the shelf in stores next to lefthanded screwdrivers and new spirit level bubbles. On the left, just past skirting-board ladders.



So anyway, WankelPop has in no way proved a disappointment. There we were standing around chatting when a couple of dudes turn up, one on a Raleigh Chopper and asked if we had a spare stand pass because they were stuck out in the public carpark. We did, and since it was alleged they had a rotary, I handed it over. Not before having a go on the Wahhh-hooonk bulb horns on the Chopper, though. There's something just... emancipating about honking a total stranger's bulb.



Anyway, true to word, Aaron did indeed show up with a pretty cool rotary wagon; a convertible FC Turbo II, perhaps one of the rarest models of all Mazda rotangs



I believe this was once Papercutout's doriftuu ride, rocking wide steels and suchlike but it certainly looks tough enough on its new hoops, and possibly even better for losing the daft dildo gearknob



We all wrongly agreed that it looked fine on the Celica wheels... before twiggin they are of course no such thing, lol. If you correctly identify them before the next paragraph you can award yourself several zillion cool points



yep, if you said "Mitsubishi Starion" you are indeed a doyen of obscure Japanalia trivia and wheel identification. Well done you. So, not a bad turnout for such a small club in the end. And all three generations of RX-7. Well done us. Especially when you consider how many of our cars are normally broken, or scattered in parts containers across several continents and seaways. Or both.

[Lucky]

So off we went further into the murky depths of the showground. Still baffled by the sun, I was perhaps not at my best and ended up with a fairly patchy set of photos, and certainly strayed into territory I might otherwise not find myself anywhere near... for example, this is a perfectly nice example of Opel Monza, so far so good. Lovely.



But this? No idea? Is it a Kadett? I dunno. Opels and Vaux offerings tended to pass me by for some reason so I'm a bit off my comfort zone. I guess it doesn't matter what it is if you like it. I like it, maybe that's enough. I just don't want to type a load of old pony about it only to find it's something completely different. maybe I should go back to doing those no words... just pictures threads lol



However, there's no mistaking what this is



Quite clearly the coolest, most iconic car in the entire showground, by some margin. In fact, I have a bit of sex wee trickling down my leg just now even looking at the photos.



Oh god, it's not even a hatchback, it's a saloon version. Gnnnghg, saloon Chevette, life doesn't get better. Right, I'm off to the loo for a while now. Joking aside, it looked like quite a tool (no, not that sort) apparently having a massive engine conversion (don't ask me what, I'm even more hopeless at telling Vauxhall lumps apart than I am the cars) but it was all well executed and that. (Disclaimer: apologies to anyone baffled by all this. Chevette in-joke that probably doesn't translate very well)



The Retro Rides stands had some superb cars on it (and some errrrm, slightly less if I may make so bold. Modern stock BMW? Wha?) as you'd perhaps expect, lol. I need to make amends for describing this lovely Firenza as "brown" in my Bromely thread. It is, of course, Garnet Starmist. Which is still one of my all-time favourite paint colour names. Lovely. Still missing an "F" though



Hillman Hunter wagon displays the Rules of lows + rims = groovy to fine effect. Plus a bike on the roof, apparently this is important. It is, at least, a much cooler bike than the last one



Datsun 180B wagon. I've absolutely no idea if this was even half-way to being cool back in the day, I'm guessing not. To the best of my memory I've never seen one before. Innit funny how the rarity of a survivor makes it seem pretty cool after all?



This is sorta what I remember of Datsuns from back in their time, though. Rust! Though not usually as arty as this, more the kind that makes your car fall to bits. Oh, and I remember the Nissan Wall that divided Worthing like the black edifice of the Tyrrel Corporation building. The what? Never seen Blade Runner? Shame on you! Wake up! Time to die



A Nissan Laurel! Probably one of the rarest cars in the ground, bizarre but true. Well, in UK terms anyway. I don't think they were sold here were they? Write in if you know



Ah? A VW Down? Aha, see what you've done there. Very droll. Still, got it into a report about retro cars, didn't it?



There were a couple of what I suspect are Retro Rides stalwarts goofing around on drift trikes, I'm sure I've seen a thread about them somewhere. They were certainly an interesting concept. We were unable to decide whether they were achingly groovy and ironic, or a lamentable waste of time and daft way for a grown man to act. Eventually we concluded these were both equally valid and admirable reasons for them, lol



Actually, I may have been fibbing a bit with that pic. They really don't produce that much smoke. And no, all the black lines on the tarmac didn't come from the anyway. To be fair, they probably need video to convey that they actually are quite funky in their own way. Sorry. I suck again



Saw this Trumpet Vitesse at the Gathering, pressing on up the climb. Looks to be a bit of a tool (no, not that kind)



Evil glare on it, that's for sure.

[Lucky]

I rather like this li'l GSX bob-tail chop with a VFR 750 rear end, although judging by how the tyres' torn up it has some suspension woes. Still, fair play to the guy for clearly pressing on when he rides



Now... rods. Have I ever mentioned how rubbish I am at identifying hotrods before? Yeah, thought so. Well, Derek was kind enough to give me some pointers and I'm slowly getting the hang of it. I think. When in doubt, say it's a Ford, lol



That's a '32. This is a '33. It's the shape of the grille, apparently. The trick is just remembering which year goes with which grille, lol



I'm starting to fear for my own sanity, every time I take a pic of a wheel having thought "Ooooh, that's a cool-looking wheel" it turns out to be some kind of Rota. I think it's like invasion of the bodysnatchers, soon I'll be assimilated into the alien race just like everyone else and not care anymore that Rotas have taken over the world.



I definitely wasn't feeling myself by now (it's the heat, I tells thee). Otherwise I'm at a loss to explain how I've been caught taking photos of French cars. Mind you, at least it's a pretty unusual one, a Renault 17 TS turbo thing



Early Celica Supra looks mean. Again, no-one seems more bemused than Toyota when they fluke an iconic car, and they promptly stop making it before anyone notices they've strayed from the path of making tedious saloons for carrying octogenarians to Lidls and the bingo



...although even the most anarchic Toyota designer probably never dreamed their humble Starlet could end up as bonkers as this one



This, it's fair to say, is not your average classic Mini



It seems to be a massive amount of engine (barely) wearing a really tiny car!



Stumbled on a couple of random RX-7s tucked away up here in the wilderness. The low black Southwest beastie from before (which had moved, just to confuse my tiny pea brain)



...and this very clean crisp white one of unknown provenance. According to the guru of all UK FB locations, the inestimable Mr Nock, you know who you are lol, this was a different colour once. The red/brown interior would tend to confirm this



In actual fact, I'm not even convinced that there was ever a white FB available?



Quite surprising the MOT man is tolerant of this kinda thing, and you wouldn't want to get too close with shorts on, lol



Funky little mirrors, as spotted by eagle-eyed Thomas! Not sure if they work sooooo well with the stock mounts, but I love the mirrors themselves



We all like a nice bubble-arched MkI Escrot, don't we? Especially with Minilites. Mmmm, minilites, makes me want to see what my own car looks like on 'em. In fact, been so long since I saw it I can barely recall what the car looks like at all...



Different legendary Ford now. Can you tell what it is yet, lol?



Yeah, that was hardly fair, was it? This'll give it away rather, then;



In a time when any MkI Cortina can have a funky stripe painted on it and magically become a Lotus, this appears to have the correct visa on it. Although the right kind of twin-cam lurks under the bonnet, surely that's the wrong kind of fueling? Injection? On a MkI Cortina? Cool!



Another RX-4... errr Capri. Funnily enough, Madame le Jo likes this



Another tuff-looking Mini Clubman, though not wearing a Hannibal Lector-style MX-5 face this time



And an actual MX-5, just in case. To redress the balance, like. If there was ever a make of car utterly tranformed so easily just by wheels + lows then it has to be early MX-5s



Bit of patination going on here, even though I'm guessing it's had more to do with an angle grinder and salt water than age-old neglect and time



There were even a couple of nods (ironic, I hope) to the bosozuku style of modding. The owner of this Rover has to be having a bubble, surely?



...although worryingly I suspect that this may be intended a bit more seriously...



I have a suspicion that under all that plywood, chicken wire, fibreglass and pug is a Bimmer sharknose four-door. I honestly don't know whether this is pure class or utter arse, I'll leave it up to the reader to decide. Hmmmm, Skyline R32 lights, too. Natch



Stumbled across a proper-old school front-mounted dragster being prepped in the pits area...



Proper weapon! This is what dragsters (and Hotwheels) looked like back when I were a lad!



And so our traipse through the various stands brought us back to the Show 'n' Shine again to see what was new and exciting here. Some cars were so special they even had "Special" written on the back of them



Another of those "can y'tell what it is yet?" moments. Indulge me, I'm running out of things to say here...



Did you guess Sedan de Ville? Well, you were close. This is, of course, a 1958 Buick Riviera Super... which is totally different in terms of make and model but does look suspiciously similar. Don't feel bad, lol



I'm always up for admiring the sheer excess of American '50s land yachts.



although the interior is surprisingly tasteful, almost understated for this type of car. Well, in as much as it has a steering wheel modelled on a rocketship, but leaving that aside it's quite restrained



As I'd suspected, the wide-arch Mustang looked just as at home in the Show 'n' Shine as it did on the dragstrip. This thing gives me the raging horn, lovely



Despite a recent magazine article alleging that the Mondial is the next collectible Ferrari just waiting for people to realise how amazoid it really is, I'm not quite convinced yet. Although I do have to respect that this 'vert has Ferrari-trimmed matching kiddie seats in the back!



The interior is perhaps a bit.... Essex... for our slightly more restrained modern tastes, too.



I dunno. I guess any Ferrari is good, and it's certainly a triumphant piece of engineering packaging, but for me? Nahh. I don't see them suddenly setting the collector market on fire.



A rather later version of Buick Riviera. You really would not want to get your fingers anywhere near the headlight retractor mechanism on this beast while it was operating!



This is rather more like it, a proper muscle car... or at least one of the forebears to such. An early Pontiac GTO



again, a startlingly mundane dash treatment with strip speedo and few original instruments. Not what you'd expect from such an iconic car. They got better later, lol



I love the hood-mounted tacho thing that Yank cars used to do. Such a pointless yet absorbingly cool thing to do!



Mini with matching trailer and Lambretta was sorta groovy in a slightly contrived kinda way



Manta A knew when it had been tangoed, gorgeous colour



So that was about that for the showground, we wandered back over to the stands to take in some more drag antics, pausing briefly to admire some of the local plumage on the way



...and to enjoy the sight of Santa Pod basking in very unaccustomed sunshine



...in fact, I'm still not sure what that big hot yellow thing in the sky was. I've heard tell of this mystical thing called "the sun" but until this day I don't believe I'd ever seen it within the boundaries of Northamptonshire. Strange pairing here...



....hang about, what was that!? Go back a couple.... yeah, there, hold it right there! Mmmm, nice



By way of complete contrast, the utter legend that is KiwiDave, strutting his stuff! I can't look at this without hearing the Offspring's Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) in my head, lol. Give it to me baby, aha - aha...



*ahem* anyway, some drag racing, then? Nice to see a BMW not stuck to the outside lane its flashing headlights at anyone travelling under 110mph!



More ridiculous tailwind enhanced burnouts. Always good for impressive-looking pics



I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised by the mix of cars at this show. Beforehand I was expecting that it would be a melange of any car you like so long as it's a Ford. And whilst there were indeed a huge number of Fords of different flavours, there were also plenty of other marques representing. Which was nice. Not that, you undestand, I have anything against old Fords whatsoever. In fact, here's another 'scrot to prove it



Got to include another one of the deranged Moggy Minor Alteration. With the bonne t removed you can really respect how much damned engine they managed to cram into such a wee little car



I always wanted a proper old perimeter-framed oil-boiling GSXR when I was *ahem* growing up... until I got one and then I couldn't get rid of it quick enough. Terrible things, handle like a greased giraffe. Awesome engine though, no wonder so many ended up like this as drag weapon of choice, or streetfightered into Spondon or Harris or Martek "proper" frames



Speaking of oil-cooled GSXR mills, this funny little thing showed potential since it basically seemed to be a Gixer-powered gokart!



Perhaps as you'd expect the little tiny wheels meant it got off the line like a cat shot from an ion cannon, but lagged a bit towards the end of the strip. Hilarious to watch, though



Nice to see the old-school drag humour of daft decals and silly-looking cars that still go like almighty $£@#! hasn't quite died out yet



And on the subject of old-school, these immense and insane things didn't disappoint



I guess when you look at it now, you can see why they no longer build front-engined dragsters. If/when that engine goes, you ARE going to get it right in the face!



But they certainly do look pretty damned cool. And they take me back to all-too brief grainy snippets on World of Sport. Yeah, with Dickie Davies and all...



Shiny-impossible-to-photgraph-painted Mustang didn't disappoint. Mopar Nationals in a fortnight, maybe I'll find the Holy Grail of how to get it onto film then...



Another hundred cool points for spotting what's odd about this one;



(just checking there's anyone still reading out there, lol. Nearly done, stay with it). Second loudest noise of the day award (second only to Fireforce) went to the frankly insane Top Fuel bike demo.



Honestly, I know I always bang on about it, but if you've never been to the Main Event and seen proper Top Fuel bikes and dragsters run, do it. Seriously, these things are genuine bucket list stuff



I don't know if there was a problem, but the rider shut off around the eighth marker and still ran an eight-second pass! This didn't affect how quickly it got off the line... one second it was there the next it just simply wasn't. It's like the Infinite Improbability Drive



As always, I'll try to end on a high. It was finally time for the Go Hard!!! thing to do a run (someone, OK, Derek, has identified this for me as a Fiat Toppolino-based thing that appeared in magazines back when. No, really. Odd but true. If you know any better, let us know)



Was it worth the wait? I dunno, you judge for yourself. You might want to check out the state of that back tyre struggling desperately to contain the power and the fury before making your mind up though




That's it; top show, even my eyeballs were sunburnt, excellent cars, superb racing, top company, and my Rex made it there and back without blowing up. What more could anyone want out of a show? Thanks for hanging on to the bitter end with us, appreciate your time and effort reading through

Now, go away

[Wishy]

Epic pictures. Looks like a great day and some seriously sick cars there.

[rip7]

nice work/ great pictures/ pleasure to meet you/

[myatt1972]

Great stuff Nik as always but isnt that buzzard a kite? (fork tail)

[KiwiDave]

Here are some pictures wot I saw. And just 'cos I might have taken some of the same pictures, it's not copying, it's imitation or flattery or some such thing wot my lawyer said.....

Arses on display, some covered and some not.






A red RX7, a red RX7, a blue RX7, a red RX7. Or to put it another way ..
A red FB , a red FB , a blue FB , and a red RX7
The AEG Entertainment Stand (Awesome Exile Greatness)


WankelPop settles in for a long day

[KiwiDave]

Yellow eyed oriental.


Lots of love for the legend .. AE86 .. in red, naturally






These are Drift Trikes. Who knew? Apparently everyone but me!! Looked like fun but jury is still out on street cred.




Volvo 360 Owners Club ... Really!!


If Halfords did Body Shops ...




Pretty little Cooper S




Laurel with window dressing







Saw this at Retro Rides last year sounding very unhealthy. Not sure if it even turned a wheel here. Last seen being loaded onto a trailer. Grp 5 IMSA Spec body kit


Renault 17TS Turbo. Proper period thing, never seen one before. Shades of Fuego.






My favorite model Celica ... nastiness under that matt finish


Grenada Estate?? Liking the escort style flares and the up down suspension




I am not an FB stalker ... here it is again! RetroStance!















Retro Chic










Triumph in Drag ...






Speechless ... back in the day when BMW did some of their best stuff. A resto from a very tired example to better than new










Can you tell what it is yet??




Yes really ... all that is wrong about badge engineering. You do not need to see the car!




Rare sight at any show ... me likey a lot. DKW Schnellaster. This means Rapid Transport


Two cylinders and 20 ish horsepowers and front drive too! Later increased to an insane three cylinders and 20 ish horsepowers


Not convinced that you would see too much schnell from that performance package








Did I mention that it was hot? Heat stroke must have set in because I could have sworn that this was a fiat of some sort


Anyhow, that's about it for my little highlights pack.
Thanks to Nik, JoJo and Norton for company and conversation. Shout out to Adam and his Dad and the coolest wheels of the day (IMHO).